Overdrive TV

Right, I’ve been deliberating for some time now about a witty and willfully obscure reference to some sort of movie (possibly Pedro Almovodar), band or anecdote to relate to the Seat Leon Cupra. But unfortunately you’ll have to wait for my next car for any of that, or read Ciro’s brilliant Dark Knight SL 63 article again.

So I’ll just get straight into it: quite simply, I loved this car.

It’s like an Audi and an Alfa-Romeo had a love-struck, sunburnt fortnight on the Costa Del Sol and the hangovers far outweighed the regrets. Their resultant love child is simply beautiful. It’s got it’s dad’s (the medallion wearing hairy-chested Alfa male obviously) nose. All purpose and menace with gulping great intakes to suck air into the turbo-charged libido of the thing. But it’s got some of its mom’s characteristics too. Teutonic shapeliness and firm, taut…uh….controls.

It has its dad’s flanks too with hidden door handles a-la the Alfa 156 and strangely enough it’s mom’s shoes with giant red brake calipers you usually only see on S-spec Audis. But it really is it’s own beast. It’s not as leery as an Alfa and not as domesticated as an Audi. It’s handling is a bit like Fernando Torres –brilliant and flamboyant, but moody and unpredictable- and that’s how we like it at Overdrive. Except for the fact that Torres plays for Liverpool of course.

They’re racing these Leon Cupras in a production car series here in South Africa, and rumour has it that on race day one of the race-spec engines blew up. The crew simply dropped a production version into the car and the thing went on to the win the race. That’s like me pitching up at Arsenal (shudder), putting on Fabregas’ tiny, undersized girl boots and banging a hat-trick against Spurs. Astonishing story, but once you’ve driven this thing you’ll be wholly unsurprised.

Ciro was saying the other day there’s something brilliant about big turbos on small engines (there’s also something to be said about two or four big turbos on bigger engines) and the Cupra’s 2.0 litre is as fiery as a Basque Seperatist waving a gun at hostages in an airport. They’ve coaxed 177Kw out of the thing and your propulsion is accompanied by a very pleasing whoosh as the turbo kicks in. Apparently Miguel Indurain who won the Race Of France or something on something non-mechanical had the most incredible lung capacity. Three times the average man’s some say, and his motorized and not-as-boring Spanish compatriot Cupra is the same.

Now the interior reminds me of a Spanish Discoteteque where the décor’s horrible, you’ve drank too much of something that tastes like tanning oil, the music’s so bad it’s brilliant and you end up having the time of your life. In fact, at some stage between trying to catch a bikini top off the ceiling fan with your teeth and doing a conga line with some swimsuit models you’re convinced you’re in love. It’s like that with the Cupra. It’s all 80s hot-hatches in there with the word Cupra -in a surprisingly similar typeface to the old Celica SUPRA- emblazoned on just about everything. It’s great, right down to the fade-out-into-blocks redline indicator on the speedo.

You’ll find more than a bit of VW switchgear and fobs and knobs and stuff in there, but somehow this car doesn’t feel like a VW. And in a good way. It’s…how can I say this delicately…a bit tackier, in a kind of disarming way. Like a busty pornstar as opposed to a celery-starved ramp model. And it’s as temperamental as a woman in a Latina soap opera as well. One day it just stopped taking my calls. The Bluetooth that hooks up to my phone just wasn’t there anymore. No note. Nothing. Just gone. And then she (it) came back as if nothing had happened. Awesome.

I haven’t had this much fun in a hatchback since the Renault Megane F1 or possibly the Mazda 3 MPS although that handled like a chip packet in a gust. The Megane F1 came with a brilliant Limited Slip Diff which the Seat Leon Cupra doesn’t but it still has loads of grip, a driving position and attitude that says flog me and looks that might lead to you having sex with another person of your choice.

After all the posturing and bad Spanish analogies it comes down to one simple point: 30 KW more than a GTi for 20 grand less? I hate to use the words like no-brainer when talking about this car because it does think with its loins, but it is the best deal for a hot hatch you can currently get in this country. A budget holiday that actually delivers on the brochure.

Tags: car, pants, yellow

This entry was posted on Monday, August 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am and is filed under Knews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.