Drama. Last night.
The powers that be at Vorsprung-Goldwyn Television studios in Inglewoodstad, Kalifornia decided that an extra $50 000 (approx. R500 000) would really bring the plot to life in the well-liked but rather dull soapie The Days Of Our Uneventfulness. After fighting it out with Italian Executive Producers for countless rounds of pointless but well-catered meetings an agreement was reached. They could borrow a plot line from a very successful, raunchy but expensive Italian Soap called -loosely translated- “Also In My Back Of Me”.
So has the injection of power and danger succeeded in transforming the fast-paced but banal program into something sex-tinged and dangerous? Well yes and no. Early episodes saw a huge upswing in the viewership mainly down to a rise in flared nostrils, brake-ups, revenge, sibling rivalry and an attempted stabbing. Stuff that was sorely missing from the previous incarnation of the show. That’s not to say it’s gone completely Latin with full-frontal dancing, passionate murders, failed brake-ups, bipolar disorders and non-linear plot lines.
An excerpt from the revamped Season (R)8 (Episode v.10) of “Days Of Our Increasingly, Though Not Quite Yet Eventfulness“.
[Int. Night time. The well-appointed study of Dr. Gamborlhini]
SFX: A throaty howl is heard from the corridor.
Dr. Gamborlhini: What in the hell was that?
BELLADANCA(His mistress) with a worried furrow on her brow: I fear it is your illigitimate son returning from his dangerous cosmetic surgery in the mountains.
Dr. Gamborlhin: That stupid kid! I tell him not to go up there to that mad Doctor! He was involved in experiments in the war!
BELLADANCA: Experiments, my love?
Dr. Gamborlhini(fixing himself a Limoncello) Si. Experiments. On engines of various sizes. I was only but a small boy from the village of Sant’Agata
(Dr. Gamborlhini genuflects)
but what I saw up there…huddled in the corner of his lab after dark.
BELLADANCA: What did you see?
Dr. Gamborlhini: Horses. Hundreds, maybe even thousands. Mutant horses, strong and wild. He claimed he could control them. But I just don’t know how any man could control such an army of snorting madstalliones…He is the one who made me want to become a doctor, but I promised never to have that sort of power…
[Suddenly his illigitimate son bursts into the room wearing all white disturbingly. He is rippling with sweat, adrenalin and slightly twitchy, deadly purpose]
Dr. Gamborlhini: So you are back from your (waves dismissively) how shall we say…adventures?
ILLIGITIMATE SON: Yessssss. To kill you!
[Fade to black. cue music and end credits}
Phew! What a cliffhanger. Reminds me of the R8 on Hel’s Hoogte pass in the middle of the bloody night.
So the R8 V10(in case you hadn’t yet guessed what the hell I was on about) has still retained its Scalextric like cornering but now has a glorious throttled soundtrack to go with it. It’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. But I don’t think it’s a half a million rand better than the V8. Sometimes you just have to start all over again instead of doctoring the script. Apparently.
-Gavin Williams
Tags: drama, experiments, horses, kalifornia, lamborghini, mistress, mutants, plot, r8, soap opera, V10, war
