The Suzuki SJ410 was one of the most cultish cars ever. It was a Beechies ad wrapped in a day-glo Gotcha jacket with Sambuca stains on the lapel at your parent’s holiday house in Umdloti where you had your first sexual experience on some rocks with a shark tooth necklace and a head full of ideas nicked from glimpses of Michelle Pfeiffer’s funbags. It was in the purest sense, fun and I’m pretty convinced Suzuki had no idea what they were doing.
Like windsurfing, but manageable and vaguely cool.
The Japanese seem to stumble onto great cars and it’s usually when they’re not trying too hard. They take a basic idea from an existing car and make it better. Simple. The other way is when they forsake Western convention and just make something so outrageously Japanese it bristles with tech so sharp it could clone you while you sleep and handles like a ninja’s cat. The new Nissan GT-R for example, but that’s another story for another time.
Back to the Suzuki Jimny though, which is the heir to the wet t-shirt title the SJ410 owned for years. I’m so super stoked (maintaining Umhlanga slang for a while) to report that they haven’t strayed from the formula one bit. The new Jimny’s an absolute hoot. It’s as light as a nun’s night out and has this bitchingly grippy, torquey little engine that won’t quit until it’s exploded or reached the summit. It’s like those small dogs that are fun to wrestle with and be chased by. It will chase the same ball for days and come back for more. Awesome. Suzuki needs to be applauded for not trying to make the car “hip” and *shudder* funky. It’s charm lies in a place that a turquoise indicator stalk could never reach.
But -like the windsurfing culture it infiltrated- it isn’t all fun and games. The lightness is great on dunes and treetops but it sometimes feels like you’d be safer naked on a Suzuki Hayabusa in an accident. There’s absolutely no space for luggage with the 4 seats and at my height it feels a bit like you’re riding a body board on castor wheels. I’m not one to go for that all too human trait of loving small angry things like Staffies but there’s such an undefinable charm about the little tyke it’s really endearing. Its eagerness to please is intoxicating and you will fall completely in love with the thing. You won’t see many around either adding to the cool secret club it founded back when people drank Hunters Gold.
Cult status is something that cannot be touched by marketing or created purely by design. It’s achieved and coveted despite everything. That’s why people still like Beetles. They’re shit but charming. The Jimny is a car you’ll fall in love with but not be able to live with. Rather leave it at the beach house as an eager, brilliant little companion that isn’t a beach buggy, although it has the soul of one and the carefree heart of a favourite holiday spot.
It's the automotive equivalent of the thrill you get breaking into a liquor cabinet.
Jack Parow was also considering buying one so we took him for a test drive. He said “maybe”.
-Gavin Williams
Tags: beechies, fun, gt-r, holiday, jeep, jimny, michelle pfeiffer, suzuki, umdloti, wet t-shirt, windsurfer
that’s it, i’m going to watch ladyhawke!
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