Handball. Red card.
Australia is a Kia Sportage.
When Fabio Grosso took a dive in the last 16 at the 2006 World Cup, Aussies worldwide cried cheat. Italy had earned a late penalty against the Socceroos. ”Cheating” is rewarded in football, Australia. It may not have the nobility of men in vests and spraypainted-on shorts bounce dribbling an oval ball around a cricket oval, but it is the game of billions. If you want to lunge into a daft attempt at a tackle on a seasoned Italian conman in the last minute of a knockout game, you pay the price.
All of that has nothing to do with the Kia Sportage which represents Australia’s efforts at this FIFA World Cup, I just wanted to get it off my chest. Lucas Neill is shit. The Sportage was presumably as ambitious as the Australian national team when it was created by a committee in a design studio filled with white noise. The Sportage doesn’t really fit in anywhere. One of it’s centre backs is 37 years old and doesn’t even have a professional club to play for anymore (Craig Moore). It tries to habitate a gap on the world stage that simply doesn’t exist and no-one wanted in the first place.
The Sportage was taken apart by teenage German engineers, and once the laughter died down they scored another 3.
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