Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Not an estate agent? Don’t PVR Survivor? Don’t forward Vernon Koekemoer jokes? Not a wanker? Boy have we got a car for you! Gentlemen and ladies of leisure, I have immense pleasure in introducing you to the best VW ever made – besides a Veyron or a Phaeton which no-one (except Kevin F****n Pietersen) has driven – the VW CC. Four short letters. Even the TT has more. In fact, I think it’s probably the shortest car name ever. I would have really adorned it with a name more befitting it’s palatial excellence like the VW Ballaestiere or the Steppenwulf, but I guess it is VW after all and they like to “manage expectations”.
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Tags: chelsea, cylinder, genius, kevin pietersen, labradors, lawns, spca, survivor, vernon koekemoer, wanker
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Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Starbucks failed in Australia. Nobody really knows why. They say Starbucks works elsewhere because it is ‘The Third Place”; the first being your home and the second being your work. Obviously America has become a nation of friendless dullards judging by how popular Starbucks is over there.
Personally, my third place is where I’d find my friends and family. I can count at least 10 places I’d rather spend my time than a Starbucks. Fortunately my family is in the restaurant business so at least one of those places includes food and beer. But we all have a place like that, don’t we?
Recently, a man called Ben Ali passed away. Ben opened an eatery called Ben’s Chilli Bowl back in the ‘60s in Washington, DC. Over the years his eatery became an institution; a bastion of non-racialness in a stormy period in the USA’s history. The eatery’s 50th anniversary was a who’s who of politicians, businessmen and celebrities who’d been through the best and worst of times, all the while eating at Ben’s.
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Tags: ali, barack, ben, bill, cc, cosby, obama, passat, president, volkswagen, vw
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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
Premium Hot Hatches are pretty damn popular in South Africa. You’ve got Volkswagen, Opel, Mazda, Ford, BMW, Renault, Citroen and everyone else I’ve forgotten vying for your attention by fitting bigger wheels, bigger engines and bigger chin-spoilers to their pleb-hatches and then charging R100 000 more.
Although that’s sort of how it used to be. Nowadays, the top of the line hatch in a manufacturer’s line-up is generally quite special. The Volkswagen GTI for instance has grown up so much it now feels like it’s punching two classes above its weight. The Astra OPC looks ferocious and Renault can sell you car with a trick front diff for unlimited front-end traction and a Spaniard’s signature on the dash board. Mazda’s top-line offering is a bit different, however.
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Tags: 3, cape town, individual, mazda, mps
Posted in Driven, Knews | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
You know what, I like communists. I’d never actually met one unless you count communes in Observatory where “free spirits” argue over who bought the milk. However, I met a self-described “Marxist” the other night and she said – among other trivial things – that she couldn’t watch F1 because of the “monotonous droning sound” of the (most fabulous) engines on earth going by.
A rather upset Logan, yesterday.
Well, maybe she should buy a Renault Logan I thought. Perennial kapitilists BMW’s headquarters in Munich resemble some sort of futuristic production line, designed by the top architect of our day who happens to be an Iraqi woman. Factories in the Old East – and specifically Romania where the Logan is ill-concieved and built – were actual Dickensonian factories.
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Tags: comunists, curry, logan, renault, sociology
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Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
It took 15 seconds. I’m not even near joking. It took 15 seconds.
Before I get to that though I’d like to talk about the image/perception that exists in most retail stores and brand “equity” that bounds around our modern age. It is devil’s-hand crafted to make you feel inspired and worthy, apparently.
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Tags: asshole, bmw, turbo, x6
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Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
Currently the OverdriveTV garage contains a brand new Kia Soul. It’s an interesting thing for sure; those looks are, um, polarising at best. But we’re happy to report it’s a very competent and comfortable run around.
We’ll have a full report up next week but in the meantime we’ve realised Kia has inadvertently come up with the best car name ever, which has lead to the both of us wasting an entire afternoon laughing. You see if you substitute the word ‘soul’ for ‘car’ in everyday motor-related speak, you end up with a literally infinite list of wonderful puns. For instance: “You left your lunch in my soul”.
Click through for a list our favourites. We want you to come up with some more. At the end of the week glory and praise will be heaped on the creator of the best pun.
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Tags: fun, kia, pun, soul
Posted in Driven | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
My uncle owns a top-notch, busy little Italian eatery in Seapoint, Cape Town. It overlooks a petrol station and a main road. It has a few tables outside on the wonky paving which are perfectly suited to enjoying a glass of wine and arguing about whatever drives past.
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Tags: active diff, bmw, pizza, twin-turbo, ugly, v8, x6
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Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
Saab 9-3 Sport Combi
I’ve got a friend who drives a late 90s Jetta. A white one. And she loves it. Her reasoning is that it’s exactly because it’s so plain, so unpretentious and standard that its innate charm lies in it’s not trying to be anything, just a car. Like Middlesborough FC is just trying to be a football club. It’s mid-table, uninspired and drab, yet thousands of people seem to like them given the evidence on our roads on and on rainy, cold terraces on the banks of the Weir River in the North-East of England.
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Tags: 9-3, arrested development, saab, seinfeld, small talk, sport combi
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Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
Watching Italy vs France the other night got Gavin and I thinking. We mostly avoid this but the sight of absolutely stunning females in the stands, adorned in all manner of Forza Italia paraphernalia, had unavoidably set us off.
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Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
People who hunt animals for sport are more environmentally conscious than vegetarians. There, I said it. Veggies won’t eat cows because they think they are killed inhumanely. Let me tell you I’d rather have a deadbolt (a technique no longer used I may add) through my face than a pack of jackals tearing strips off my haunches while one of them tucks into my entrails. If we didn’t kill cows and sheep for food imagine the savage deaths they would suffer in the wild. They wouldn’t stand a chance. Your cat is less domestic. Similarly, hunting buck in the wild with a crisp, clean kill I guarantee is a better fate than being a walking buffet for Wild Hunting Dogs. (more…)
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