Scene: ridiculous Cape Town vanity plate

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Can anybody decipher this? We’re stumped. Even better, if you know the owner, get him to drop us a line.

Thanks Davide!

Bakkie art: not just for plumbers

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

Arsehole.

How unbelievably awful do you have to be to even contemplate this sort of display? We don’t know much about this picture, but, obviously, it hails from the US of A and is rather depressing. Anybody care to decode his license plate? It must mean something, maybe we’re just missing the obvious.

No Man Is An Ireland.

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

Please take me to an asylum. I have just seen an unspeakable horror.

Imagine walking into work at your offices which were designed by an architect who tried to reinvent the colour blue so it would fit in with his “design language”.  You casually slide the cuff of your Ermenegildo Zegna suit up so you can check the time on your Baume Et Mercier timepiece (not watch). You are the head designer for Bentley and have just finished having breakfast with the organiser of The Americas Cup.

You buzz for some espresso which is brought in by your Swedish-Japanese PA and part-time lover.  The office is silent and the even glow from the drinks cabinet gives off a faint hue of blue from the Bombay Sapphire you’d left out after a design meeting with a man who makes the best holsters in Europe, and who will now be adding his expertise to leather finishes on Bentleys.  Your brushed aluminium Mac awakens as the feathered steps of Britt Mayota (for that his her name) whisper over the expensive carpet.  You open your e-mail:

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As a society we need to reconsider personalised plates

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

I think, Sir, you'll find the correct spelling just to the left of the VW badge.

We’ve all had those moments in the traffic. The [insert preferred insult here] in front of you is proudly sporting a shit numberplate and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Well, to hell with that. Tell him/her that his/her numberplate sucks, we say.

Sometimes it’s less obvious than the case above. I once saw a very plain looking Mercedes C180 with the plate HAVNFUN-WP. I’m almost certain he wasn’t. Now you see with this chap above, he must have known he was spelling Scirocco incorrectly. I mean, the model name is actually on the car, just left of the VW badge. But, you can only put seven characters on a numberplate, so he just went for it anyway.

Excellent.

Thanks Davide.

Driving God (Literally): Walter Röhrl

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

"Rohrling" an Audi in a parking lot nowhere near Bedfordview.

Where I’m from “Röhrl” means fight. One might “rawl” in a parking lot or near a lake for instance, occasionally risking one’s life in the process.  Luckily Walter Rohrl wasn’t born in Benoni where he would have been expected to fight inside a cage at Carnival City to live up to his name. He did, however, risk his life in various other ways inside a roll cage for many years.

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Scoop: South African Zonda F to be fitted with mandatory Rosary

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Coming across a Pagani Zonda F Roadster in the metal, in South Africa, is a bit like finding a Panda in Uganda. Let’s just quickly get to grips with this thing: it’s on sale at Future Exotics, in the V&A Waterfront, for a cool R20 million. Depending on the exchange rate, obviously. This particular Zonda F is actually the ‘Cinqe’ model, simply meaning ‘five’ in Italian; only five will ever be produced. Ever. The body is made of carbon-titanium fibre, well, because carbon fibre is just so last millennium. The engine is sourced from AMG, and ensures the car reaches 100km/h in 3.4 seconds and doesn’t stop before it hits 350. Small wonder then that it’s fitted with a rosary. The owner’s manual recommends giving it a rub before you switch the traction control off. Just between your thumb and index finger, apparently.

Spotted at Top Gear Live: You’re selling what now?

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Fascinating.

Scene: BMW 530 – from the past

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Good morning! It’s Friday; I hope you’re not to hungover to realise that. So here’s your Good Morning Its Friday Story. Because of the purchasing decisions of a member of my family I have cause to visit the fantastic BMW Atlantic showroom on Herengracht Road in the Cape Town CBD. This is a wonderful place if you’re a fan of the brand. It goes way past showroom; this is a shrine to all things Bavarian Motor Werkshen-ish.

bmw 518 from the past

Anyway, while I was wandering around enjoying a chilled glass of fresh orange and ground cinnamon water, I found this, tucked away upstairs to the service desk. I like that. This is my kind of interior decorating.

Hit the jump for a gallery and more info.

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Scene: Google StreetView Prius in Cape Town

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Google is so clever its a bit frightening sometimes. The whole “indexing the world” mission they seem to be on is cool when you’re searching for your favourite film star in her skants but its a little bit disconcerting when they rock up outside your house with ET sitting on top of a Prius. I spotted this one in Milnerton.

google street view cape town

I couldn’t see the driver so who knows whether they’re actually human or not. Honestly, who’s going to drive around all day while some wizardry on the roof takes pictures every splitsecond, sending it back to the mothership? And they’re calling their new cellphone software Android. I think I’m going to start using Bing.

Anyway, here’s a list of the top ten most confusing accidents caught on google street view around the world, compiled by the superduper chaps at Jalopnik.com

Scene: We’re pretty sure this is illegal

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Car bar

That’s how we roll down here in die Kaap. Hansa Pilsener, baby.