Like drifting a German saloon in the wet with the traction control off, the game of poker is very much a skill. You’re not up against the faceless, mighty casino; you’re up against the slightly twitchy people sitting next to you. Even that weird woman with the moustache and the tortoise shell sunglasses.

Which is why we’d like to recommend the German-version of Party Poker. They’re the poker uber-boys, offering the very latest in online poker technology. Invite your friends, play against them and insult them online in new and witty ways. It’s a wonderful way to spend an evening with your laptop, and of course make some extra cash to pay for the finer things in life. Like a better laptop.

Of course we expect you to send over 5% of your winnings. That was a joke.

Cheers.

I always find it quite hilarious that when a new hot hatch is launched it is almost immediately compared to the VW Golf. I don’t know when the Golf became the undisputed king of this segment, but what I do know is the last time I drove a hot Golf, it was without doubt one of the best cars I had ever driven. It was the all-wheel drive Golf R, and it’s going to take some beating.

Enter the brand new Opel Astra OPC (Opel Performance Centre), arriving in SA early next year. Well hell’s bells, it certainly looks the part. I think this current generation of Astra is the best looking yet, and aided by some custom body work and those giant wheels, this is the cherry on top of a very good looking line up.

The OPC has a custom tuned 2.0 litre turbocharged engine, pretty much the same spec as the Golf R, but is more powerful. No point trying to beat your biggest rival with less power. But honestly, its a difference that will most likely only be seen and felt on paper. The Astra’s 205kW compares favourably to the Golf’s 188kW, but I have a feeling the Astra needs it, as it’s the bigger car and most likely weighs a bit more. I couldn’t track down those stats but if I do I’ll post them in the comments.

The Astra will hit the German-handshake-gentleman’s speed agreement of 250km/h, making it one of the quickest 3-doors available, while you can expect the sprint time to 100km/h to be under 6 seconds. Note that the Astra will be front wheel drive only.

There is no pricing yet for the SA market and no immediate release date, but if you’re a hardcore Opel fan, you might want to put your order in right now. The Golf R will set you back at least R414 000 if you want to have a look at that first. In the mean time, ogle away at the gallery below. Those Recaro seats look marvellous.

Car journalists are often forced to endure fully paid for stays at beautiful hotels, and then face the punishing task of driving a brand new car over the country’s best roads, followed by a painful lunch in Franschoek. After surviving these nightmare scenarios, we managed to put together a few opinions about the Mercedes CLS 63 AMG and the Alfa Romeo Giulietta.

Gavin actually owns the old Subaru Legacy, so this week’s review was close to home. The new Outback (not a legacy any more sadly) is not a bad car by any means, but its changed character so much that we can’t help but feel it’s lost some of the older model’s magic.

Mini has continued to expand and the next Mini to arrive in SA will be the new Coupe. We feel Mini are trying hard to move away from being a “handbag car” – ie, just an accessory to attracting buyers who want to drive them for their driving dynamics, which have always been very, very good indeed.

Gav’s been driving the GrandDaddy Range Rover, the one footballer’s like. It’s quirky but quite spectactular all in all. And lastly would you like to know what a former Spice Girl and the latest Range Rover have in common? Well look no further.

This week we have a go in and at the new Nissan Micra, a good car which pales in comparison to the model it replaces. We also have a chat about South Africa’s car of the year, the BMW 530d. What a sensible luxury car; if only we could get our politicians driving these.

I think if you told a mielie farmer in the 80s that one day he could buy a bakkie that looks this good, drives this well, has a reverse camera, satellite navigation and a sound system worthy of a U2 concert, he would have laughed very loudly and then chased you off of his farm. We review the new Nissan Navara V9X.

I think it’s important that we don’t forget that cars in general should excite us. They should just exist in our lives for no other reason than to make us feel like 7 year olds. I haven’t felt this way about a car in years, I actually want a poster of this on my wall. The Ferrari 458 Spider.

We’ve driven the single and double cab variants of this car and I’ll start off by saying I think they’re brilliant. Volkswagen has really taken the fight to the establishment and created a clever, powerful, fuel efficient, good looking, massive range of bakkies.

We should point out that in America these bakkies are marketed as “compact pick ups”.The Amarok is anything but compact. It is simply massive. Its like driving New Zealand. Not driving around in New Zealand, I mean the whole thing.

Catch us next week on Expresso!

First, the news. Pictures of Porsche’s new 911 leak onto the internet and absolutely no one is surprised that it looks exactly like the old 911. We drive a stunning coupe: The Peugeot RCZ, which looks like nothing else on the road. Ciro loves it, Gavin not so much, mostly because he can’t really fit in the thing.