Posts Tagged ‘million’

Alonso insures thumbs; insurer forbids excessive Playstation usage

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

Formula One can be ridiculous at times. Honestly, it’s like a petrol-burning version of Bold and the Beautiful. Obviously feeling a little out of the spotlight, Alonso has gone and announced that his thumbs are insured, to the tune of £9 million.

In a statement that could be straight out of The Onion, a Santander spokesman said: “Alonso’s thumbs are a big symbol as, apart from being essential when driving a Formula One car, they represent a sign of victory and that everything is under control and well protected.”

We couldn’t make this stuff up if we tried. So what have we learnt here? Firstly, one requires opposable thumbs to pilot a 900 horsepower racecar. Well, probably. And secondly, Alonso’s chief concern, should he lose one of his precious digits, is not being able to display his happiness after winning a race.

Ciro De Siena

Scoop: South African Zonda F to be fitted with mandatory Rosary

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Coming across a Pagani Zonda F Roadster in the metal, in South Africa, is a bit like finding a Panda in Uganda. Let’s just quickly get to grips with this thing: it’s on sale at Future Exotics, in the V&A Waterfront, for a cool R20 million. Depending on the exchange rate, obviously. This particular Zonda F is actually the ‘Cinqe’ model, simply meaning ‘five’ in Italian; only five will ever be produced. Ever. The body is made of carbon-titanium fibre, well, because carbon fibre is just so last millennium. The engine is sourced from AMG, and ensures the car reaches 100km/h in 3.4 seconds and doesn’t stop before it hits 350. Small wonder then that it’s fitted with a rosary. The owner’s manual recommends giving it a rub before you switch the traction control off. Just between your thumb and index finger, apparently.